Delayed Gratification

self control

The Selfish Gene

Now, Richard Dawkins is actually writing about Darwin's theory of the 'selfish gene.' I admit that although I've had the book for ages, I've forgotten much of what I read. Now and then, I go back to it to read something that has 'popped up' in my memory bank and I want to learn a little more - or refresh my memory of what I DID read.

In the Endnotes of The Selfish Gene, Dawkins states that he is not advocating selfishness as a principle by which we should live. He writes that "perhaps because they [the reader] read the book by title only or never made it past the first two pages, have thought that I was saying that, whether we like it or not, selfishness and other nasty ways are an inescapable part of our nature." He is not advocating that at all.

"In fact genes 'determine' behaviour only in a statistical sense. A good analogy is the widely conceded generalization that 'A red sky at night is the shepherd's delight'. It may be a statistical fact that a good red sunset portends a fine day on the morrow, but we would not bet a large sum on it. . . . It is a statistical forecast only. We don't see red sunsets as irrevocably determining fine weather the next day, and no more should we think of genes as irrevocably determining anything. There is no reason why the influence of genes cannot easily be reversed by other influences."

This brings to mind a situation a dear niece and her husband are facing. They will (hopefully) be adopting a newborn baby girl who was born to a mother who has seen a World of Trouble and has not had many advantages at all. Now, this baby is in an orphanage. However, if my niece and her husband adopt and raise the child, she will be raised in a loving, nurturing, intellectually stimulating environment. The circumstances of her birth will not determine her future.

God bless these caring folks in our midst who adopt children who otherwise would (in all likelihood) have a life with no promise at all.

___________________

Postscript: am I bothered by the fact that Richard Dawkins is an atheist? I wouldn't say that I am bothered by it; I am actually more puzzled by his atheism, I suppose.

It baffles me that there are some who do not believe in God; it is so far from my known world. I see God in everything. I 'feel' God in everything. He is everpresent.

Just Walk Across the Room

This month each of the Sunday School classes in our church is studying Bill Hybels' book Just Walk Across The Room and the pastors' messages center on this same theme.

Sunday's lesson keyed on some very common sense observations that should (in my opinion) really be daily habits. Four DON'Ts:

1. Don't talk on and on (and on!) about yourself or your interests. Learn a little about the person with whom you are talking.
2. Don't (again - talk and and on at length) with incoherence. Make your point so someone can understand what you are saying.
3. Don't use 'insider' religious jargon (not only can this be boring - not everyone is knowledgeable about your particular religious catch-phrases).
4. DO NOT act superior.

Now, to me - whether one is sharing one's particular faith beliefs or just talking generally: these are very good rules. These habits are conducive to building friendships and making life much more interesting.

Several years ago someone shared with me his particular "One Minute Rule." He promised himself that he would not talk about himself more than one minute. Rather, he would learn about others and encourage others to share their stories. He said that even though this was a bit difficult at first (because like all of us: selfishness is sometimes present), he found that his life was really enriched and he made some good and fast friends who are much more interesting than he (I think he was being modest, though).

As for the next items on the above list, I think that is just Good Manners and Being Considerate.

I am grateful for

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS

unpublished letter to the editor

Our family histories

Shirley Abbott, in Womenfolks Growing Up Down South writes that "We all grow up with the weight of history on us. Our ancestors dwell in the attics of our brains as they do in the spiraling chains of knowledge hidden in every cell of our bodies. These spirits form our lives, and they may reveal themselves in mere trivialities -- a quirk of speech, a way of folding a shirt. From the earliest days of my life, I encountered the past at every turn, in every season. Like any properly brought up Southern girl, I used to spend a lot of time in graveyards."

Perhaps learning about our heritage - about our ancestors - gives us insight as to who we are. Maybe we are just curious folks who like learning about our ancestors and solving puzzles. Perhaps there is something familiar in a child that reminds us of a grandmother or an aunt or a mother and we want to know more.

I became interested in learning more about my heritage about the time my last child was graduating from high school - and then I was off and running. I couldn't learn enough and I have never lost the desire to learn more. And more.

Several years ago I read a letter my great-grandmother wrote about coming to Texas from Arkansas with wagons, kids, horses, pots and pans (and a daughter's suitor following on horseback until he became disheartened - and sadly, he went back to Arkansas and killed himself). This great-grandmother wrote about the Cherokee Indians coming to their camp while her husband and sons were gone - whooping and hollering and knocking over her large kettle of boiling water which she prepared for washing clothes and how angry she was.

They camped in many places before settling for a brief period of time in Oklahoma (for the birth of twins), then Texas and later Lincoln County, New Mexico and finally in Colfax County, New Mexico. She wrote that Pat Garrett came by, offering his help with whatever she might need while the menfolks were gone. This great grandmother lived until she was 90+ and walked to the post office each and every day and kept a fine home. She saw her brother Darl killed in the front yard of their Bentonville, Arkansas home by 'bushwhackers' during the Civil War. She had many stories.

We all have a story to tell. I treasure the generous genealogy friends I've made through the years as we have shared our research. This 'hobby' has enriched my life and I have learned much about my family and about history and about friends.

My Irish Ancestor Alexander Glenn

My Scottish Ancestor Thomas Culwell

My French ancestor Daniel Jouet